i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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