I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
