Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
