I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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