I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
