it wasn't lemon gatorade
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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