Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize