Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
