A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Use "feeling words"
Yay
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
