Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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