Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
