Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
