I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
PANTIES FOUND
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