i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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