I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
