forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
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So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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