the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
