Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
