His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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