My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
