I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
