bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you would pick up someone in the library
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
