chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
