so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
