Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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