She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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