The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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