loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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