Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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