Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
