I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
