I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
