i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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