So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
