Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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