i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us