and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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