Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team