dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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