I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize