She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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