Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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