I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
