did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
