..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
