I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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