we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
