There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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