Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
