Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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