also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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