your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize