You work out of a Hotel?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
