better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
