So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize