My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
