PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
