Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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