Sry I called you an 8
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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