Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
