The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
