I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
