Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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