is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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