I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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