): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize