i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
