it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
