I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pants are for mortals
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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