i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
