Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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